Here Be Goblins
by Hawki
Summary: Oneshot: As it turned out, Pluto wasn't the only trans-Neptunian object the Arachnids colonized...


**Here Be Goblins**

"Clear!"

Corporal Ching had shouted the words over his mike, but on the airless surface of Goblin, there'd be nothing to hear it. No air in this lonely corner of the Sol system, and therefore, no sound. So it was only through human technology that Lieutenant Donnelley and her squad heard their demo man's shout. And when they watched the plume of ice and dust shoot up into the 'air,' there was no sound. For again, no air. There was no air on Goblin, or the millions of other pieces of rock that made up the Kuiper Belt.

"Good work," Donnelley said, walking forward, the rest of Lima Squad walking with her as well. She looked down at what had used to be in the tunnel that had led down to the depths of Goblin, now collapsed due to carefully placed explosives. "You think that got them all?"

"You're the lieutenant, you tell me."

"Watch your mouth trooper," said Sergeant Cobb."

"Why don't you watch your aim then Sarge? When we were on Pluto-"

Donnelley held up a hand, silencing her squad. "We aren't on Pluto. And if you want to know what I think, I think it would be better if SICON just blew up any rock it came across within the Kuiper Belt."

"And if we were back on Pluto?" Private Billiam asked.

Donnelley nodded. "And if we were back on Pluto. But we're not. So let's get back to the dropship and see what rock we're deployed to next."

* * *

The trip to the dropship hadn't been long – frustrating, given the low gravity and that Lima Squad basically had to 'bounce' their way there, but not long. The trip up to the _Shangri La_ had only taken awhile longer. What had taken the longest of all was the debriefing with Commander Worle, confirming that yes, they'd confirmed the presence of Arachnids on2015 2015 TG387 "Goblin," and yes, they'd collapsed their tunnels. Now, five hours since they'd departed the dwarf planet in question, Donnelley was standing on D deck, looking down on the world below from behind a wall of paristeel.

 _Oh to never see you again._

Goblin looked no different from any other Kuiper Belt object. Small. Grey and white. Bombarded with meteorite impacts. Pluto had been a hellhole, but it had still managed to have a beauty to it that she could appreciate when the Arachnids weren't trying to kill her (so, about 10% of the time). She could marvel at its ice mountains, its canyons. The stars and moons above. She could fight for Pluto in the knowledge that it was a planet, despite what some fancy smancy eggheads said. Alright, maybe they were right, but it was much easier to get people to fight for "Planet Pluto" rather than "Dwarf Planet Pluto." Besides, Pluto had been in the human zeitgeist for well over a century. Places like Goblin? Not so much.

"Credit for your thoughts L.T.?"

She glanced at Ching, walking up alongside her. Neither of them was in their power suits, but she was still a head taller than him.

"Penny," she murmured, turning her gaze back to Goblin. "No-one uses pennies or pounds anymore corporal. Everyone's on the Federation credit."

"I know everyone's on the credit. Still doesn't change the saying."

"Right…"

Ching didn't sound convinced. Still, that wasn't her problem. Her list of problems was many, but they didn't include educating Corporal Ching on the origins of various platitudes.

"So…" Ching said.

"So?"

"So, like, you never did tell me your thoughts."

Donnelley couldn't help but smirk. "You didn't give me a credit or a penny."

"How 'bout a pound? I mean, no-one uses physical cash anymore, but I've got plenty of odd coins back home."

"Home's over seven billion kilometres away Ching. Might be waiting awhile."

"Yeah, well, far as I can see, we're a long way from anywhere where we actually need t to be. So, I figure you being the head of Lima Squad, you might know where we're being sent next?"

"Ever heard of chain of command?" Donnelley asked.

"Yeah. Cobb reminds me of it a lot. But you're here, I'm here, and I don't see any chains around, so…"

He trailed off, leaving Donnelley to think about chains and the prospect of strangling someone with them. Possibly even herself.

She hated this. Her whole squad hated it. A month ago, they'd been briefed by Major Serrano on what Alpha Team had uncovered – that the Arachnids weren't native to Pluto, that they were bringing in reinforcements from outside the system, and that SICON wasn't facing a hostile native species, but an extra-solar invasion. To that end, in addition to stepping up production and recruitment, SICON would be sending an expeditionary force to try and find the Bugs' world of origin. The fighting on Pluto would continue, and the Fleet would engage in operations to prevent any more Arachnid ships coming in, but effectively, the war would be fought on two fronts. Days later, Donnelley and Lima Squad had watched FedNet images of ships making ready to leave the Sol system, accompanied by stirring music, an enthusiastic voiceover, and questions of whether the viewer was doing their part, and whether they'd like to know more.

Then things had changed. Someone that Donnelley couldn't help but respect and detest had suggested that the Arachnids might have set up bases on other bodies within the Kuiper Belt. That if the Bugs were coming to Pluto, and if they could process mineral resources through biological means (and given the bio-starship Alpha Team reported, chances were they could), it would make sense for them to mine the Kuiper Belt. After all, mankind had mined the asteroid belt for decades, why not the Bugs?

That someone had been right. And that someone had tasked a small group of ships to investigate and cleanse any piece of ice and rock that had an Arachnid presence. And to do that, Mobile Infantry were required. Squads like Donnelley's. In an instant, she'd gone from fighting on Pluto, dreaming about taking the fight to the Arachnids, to being put on demo duty.

"Lieutenant?" Ching asked.

She glanced at him. "Hmm?"

"Oh good, you're not dead."

"Huh?"

"You had that look in your eyes again."

"What look?"

"Y'know, the whole reflection thing. Like, you're thinking about life, the universe, and everything, and we have to wait for you to get back to reality."

Donnelley rubbed her neck. "Don't do that too much do I?"

Ching shifted his foot, avoiding her gaze.

"Corporal?"

"Sometimes…" he said. He took a breath. "Okay, more and more. Like, here you are, just staring into space, dreaming about killing Arachnids."

"Excuse me, I do _not_ dream about killing Arachnids."

"Sure L.T., sure…"

Scowling, Donnelley returned her gaze to Goblin. She did dream about killing Arachnids, and being killed in turn, but no-one needed to know that. Last thing she wanted or needed was a psych eval.

"Alright, fine," Ching said. "I get it. Chain of command, personal thought, need to know. Just…tell me, alright? Like, if we're ever going to be put on something other than demo duty, just…let me know?"

"Talk to the sergeant corporal," Donnelley murmured. "He'll know before you do."

"Yeah. Of course he will."

She heard Ching stomp off, leaving her alone in her thoughts. Alone in her gaze, as she looked down on Goblin. Discovered in the early 21st century, larger than most Kuiper Belt objects, named after monsters of human folklore, inhabited by monsters far worse than any goblin, orc, or troll. Or fuck, even uruk-hai – she'd read _Lord of the Rings_ more times than she count.

 _No balrogs though,_ the lieutenant thought to herself. _Well, there are the plasma bugs, so…does that make me Gandalf? Blown up a few of them._

She hoped not. Gandalf died, and unlike the Grey Wizard, she knew that she wouldn't be coming back if she bit the bullet.

But they'd purged Goblin. So maybe that made Lima Squad dwarves, or elves, or something else.

Or maybe she was overthinking it, just trying to find some solace to alleviate her from her frustration. She couldn't say.

And Goblin itself wasn't providing any answers.

* * *

 _A/N_

 _This is me being very late to the mark - the idea for this came from when I first read about "Goblin," a dwarf planet discovered in the Kuiper Belt. Sort of "hey, that's cool, let me write something that deals with it." Of course, Goblin's old news, and we still haven't found "Planet X," but anyway, um, here's the results of me getting round to finally acting on said idea._


End file.
